


Bleeding Hearts

by apocalypsepoet



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, OLD OLD OLD, The Dark Swan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 22:05:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8119168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocalypsepoet/pseuds/apocalypsepoet
Summary: He instinctively laid his only hand over the spot on his chest that was all too familiar to some and his fingers danced over the place where his heart had been ripped out by a Dark One but now belongs to another.





	

"I'm doing it for you," she had said.

If only he could remember what he did, what everyone did to her, that led her to welcome the darkness with open arms. Why she let it consume her. And what she said meant that he was the cause. It was his fault that she was the Dark One  _his fault his fault his fault._ Her eyes had been distant but soft as she disappeared from him, again, leaving him with more questions than answers and a numbness that he hadn't felt since, well, since Liam, and since Milah. Since his heart had broken into a thousand pieces when she disappeared that night in the middle of the street with the whisper of "I love you," lingering in the air.

He was left standing in the middle of the woods and all he could think about was past tense.

_I loved you._

How her face fell. How he could see the little lost girl in her frozen eyes then, how he could see them earlier, when she had said, "I'm doing it for you," and he kept replaying all the moments that he let her down and how he probably did in Camelot as well, and he felt broken and cold  _his fault his fault his fault_ _._

He couldn't have known, though; she made sure that he couldn't remember for a reason and it pained him that she—

She said it was for him. Why didn't she tell him that weeks ago? When the group woke up in Granny's and she showed up with electric shocks and black leather and a chill to the air and the dagger with Emma Swan written across it?

He was frozen from the inside out; knowing only she could thaw him but her hands were made of ice and her eyes offered none of the fire he had become so familiar with. He had asked her why back then and she thought she gave him a proper answer so he would give up on her because she was a lost cause and hopelessly in love with him and she needed him to stay far, far away from the memories. Away from him.

_"Because," she had said. "I'm the Dark One."_

_"I'm doing it for you."_

Those words hadn't made sense to him until he realized how cold he actually was. From the inside out, his chest felt hollow and empty without her to fill it. But, why was he so numb? Before he met her, he was consumed with a hatred so powerful that he could rip a man’s throat out with his hook alone. He was numb, but numb in a way where he didn’t feel anything. Then, he didn’t feel he was good enough for her—that kind of numb made his stomach churn at the thought of losing her and he wanted to desperately for her to fill the void even though he was unworthy of her love, but she did anyway. This kind of numb, though, it’s eating him from the inside out. He feels lost and dirty and his empty chest aches with such a strong pull to seek the truth. This numbness is unlike anything he’s ever felt before. He thinks it’s because he has lost his true love to the very darkness he wished to destroy. He instinctively laid his only hand over the spot on his chest that was all too familiar to some and his fingers danced over the place where his heart had been ripped out by a Dark One but now belongs to another.

_Past tense._

_Because, I'm the Dark One._

_I loved you._

_You're still you._

_I'm doing it for you._

_Past tense._

 

He couldn't feel his heartbeat.

**Author's Note:**

> this is old af and i wrote it to sort out my feelings and predictions from that sneak peek of Emma telling Killian that she was doing this for him. 
> 
> at first i thought it was because he no longer had a heart and she was somehow keeping him alive and he'd be sent to the underworld eventually but then im reading it now and im like 
> 
> how did i know he was a dark one without knowing he was a dark one????


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